Real tough

So this week has been real tough. With my friend passing away and having to put my cat down, it's all become a little too much to handle. There were many times that I was angry at God and didn't really want to look to him for guidance or support. I've cried for 6 days straight now and just when I think I'm done, I have no more tears left, more come. It's crazy to think that at 19 my friend died. I never thought I would have to see a 19 year old get carried out in a casket...especially not one of my close friends. It's been super hard to deal with everything, and today we had the church services and as soon as they closed that casket...I lost it. I cried so hard. I tried to keep my chin up but I couldn't do it. After everything was said and done I was talking to the wrestling coaches wife and I babysit her kids and so she told me a story. This morning when they were at breakfast the girl's asked why they were dressed up, well Becki goes "We have to go to a funeral today" Riley(her youngest daughter) goes "Oh yeah, who's funeral is it again" Becki "Charlie's" Riley getting really sad Becki" But remember Riley it's okay because Charlie is now with God and Jesus in Heaven" Riley, getting a big smile, "Right! I bet Jesus has his room all picked out and ready to go! I bet he has a really cool bed too!" That story made my day. That little girl brought the faith back into my life that I needed. =]

Best Weekend Ever

AHHHH!!!!! I'm pretty sure I just had the best weekend of my life.

Prom + Senior skip at the zoo + Friends most definitely equals the best weekend ever!!!!

Saturday morning I took coffee over to the Kammerer's and they did my hair and make up and Tracy got me my flower thing for Josh so that was one less thing I had to stress about. Then we did pictures and the dance!!! It was so much fun dancing with K and Car. Not dealing with the nasty dancing people. Way cool. Then we went to the post prom party at the bowling alley and EVERYTHING was free!! and I won a GIANT bag of skeeto's!! Then we went to Anna's and K, Car, and I went on a walk and sat on the driveway and talked. Then we watched the sunrise at Retzer. After standing in the freezing cold Mrs. K made breakfast for everyone. It was very yummy. After breakfast I hung out and the Kammerer's for a while, then the Mingo's and finally church. Carley and I were trying our hardest to stay awake because at this point we had been up for 28 hours straight. Then K, Car, and I went to Starbucks and got even more coffee. And on our way back to K's a bird flew into my windshield and we were dying of laughter and we threw ourselves on K's lawn and were screaming and laughing and it was really crazy. Then dinner at my aunts and a sleepover at K's!! I stayed up for 37 hours straight...CRAZY!!!

Monday was senior skip day. I went to coffee with K and Car in the morning...surprise surprise. Then I got to go to the zoo!!!! It was so much fun!!! I went with the wonderful Mingo's and Tracy's friend and her kids. I loved it!! Definitely a GREAT way to spend senior skip day! I love those kids with all my heart and was so glad I got to spend the day with them.

Now it's time to head back to school. Bummer. =[ Oh well...one more month. And next week is SIX FLAGS TRIP!!!!!! And my last band concert ever...wow...scary.

Realization

So...I think my theme of the week is that I can only be responsible for myself. I had a couple of people tell me this in the past two days. I've been told this before but it just really started to click now. My friend really put this into perspective for me when she told me to think of all the decisions I would have to make if I was responsible for more then myself, because I think as well all know...I can't even make decisions for myself. I can't even imagine having to make decisions for other people. Oh my, crazy thought. But yeah, it really hit today that I need to just worry about what I can do and what I need to do and not about what others do.

You're decisions are your decisions and my decisions are my decisions. =]