May 20, 2010

Real tough

So this week has been real tough. With my friend passing away and having to put my cat down, it's all become a little too much to handle. There were many times that I was angry at God and didn't really want to look to him for guidance or support. I've cried for 6 days straight now and just when I think I'm done, I have no more tears left, more come. It's crazy to think that at 19 my friend died. I never thought I would have to see a 19 year old get carried out in a casket...especially not one of my close friends. It's been super hard to deal with everything, and today we had the church services and as soon as they closed that casket...I lost it. I cried so hard. I tried to keep my chin up but I couldn't do it. After everything was said and done I was talking to the wrestling coaches wife and I babysit her kids and so she told me a story. This morning when they were at breakfast the girl's asked why they were dressed up, well Becki goes "We have to go to a funeral today" Riley(her youngest daughter) goes "Oh yeah, who's funeral is it again" Becki "Charlie's" Riley getting really sad Becki" But remember Riley it's okay because Charlie is now with God and Jesus in Heaven" Riley, getting a big smile, "Right! I bet Jesus has his room all picked out and ready to go! I bet he has a really cool bed too!" That story made my day. That little girl brought the faith back into my life that I needed. =]

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